Uhhhhh....I think I have a flat tire.....

So Haley was all getting on my case for not updating recently. I have been seriously trying to think of something to post about but I couldn't think of anything. Yes my life is that boring. My day goes as follows, wake up in 30 minutes I am showered, hott ;) and out the door, another 30 minutes or so in the car, 3 minute walk from the Civic Center to my lovely Wells Fargo Building. I check the printers to make sure all the paper trays are stalked. I turn on the phones. Check the messages. Log in to my computer...then I usually remember to grab a spoon for my yogurt (I some how forget every single day). Then my duties are basically done for the day until mail time at 3. So as I am laughing at my title of this post (only true friends will appreciate) I am realizing that my life is FILLED with lots of Uhhhhhhhh moments. Like uhhhh should I play tetris, or blog stalk...Or uhhhh should I wipe the table even though it's clean? Oh here's a good one. UHHHH should I eat that Milkyway that is calling my nameeee, or drink that delicious Dr. Pepper that will make my butt huge? Yeah my life is lots of uhhh moments indeed. Speaking of I am having a FAT what should I write? uhhh moment right now. So I think I will just end this by saying uhhhhh I am done.

because i love you

I have a handful of close friends, people I love, people I tell everything to and go to for advice, people I admire and people who are the best in the world. This past year I have met a few people that I now am having a hard time living without. It's weird how the people I met just in this past year have had a bigger effect on me than some people I have known for years. I love these people soooo much and I wish every day that I could be with them. So there are 5 people that I miss the most and so this is for them!
If your name is Britty, Bobean, Hay, Katers, or Karencrust....this is for you ;)

To britty: I have known you the longest and you were my very first college roommate. We have had some unforgettable times. My favorite would definitely have to be eating pasta roni with parmesan bread like every day, and then that weird talk we had that one time late at night....the time you drew on my legs, our first thunderstorm, our first explosion, dancing in the kitchen, discovering natural reader haha, taking naps like every 5 seconds, and the after nine voice. To even think that I've known you for over a year now is insane because I can still remember the first night we had together when we went to bed at 9 haha. I love you!





To bobean: It's kinda funny how we both had thought we could never be close. I just adore you Robin Rodgers. I love that you are one person I can always laugh at dirty jokes with, how you love my stories about my family and how you laughed when I came bursting into your room with no clothes on after knowing me like a week. I really miss watching Modern Family with you and freaking out together about Vampire Diaries orcoming home on a Wednesday night and screaming GLEE! I miss crying with laughter when I am with you. I also really miss making jokes about geology....like the time I wrote you that poem, oh man I am so funny!!! I love that I can call you during the day now! I love that you're always there for me!





To my dearest Katers: Living with you was one of the craziest experiences of my life. We went through a heck of a lot and I can honestly say I don't know if I could have made it without your loving advice and horse sweater complete with Oregon sweats. Some of my favorite memories with you begins with asian aerobics,collecting goldfish cards, staying in bed all day, dancing in the shower and wearing our robes....taking our boobs off haha,starburts, vitamin c pills and freezing our butts off on the way to the gym. You're a gem Katy Chamberlain. I also really in a strange way miss you singing to me while playing guitar and I miss your Nester voice. I do not miss your snoring.





To KarenCRUST: I am really glad that freshman academy gave us the opportunity to meet. I remember when we first started becoming friends and we would have all these moments where we would both love the exact same thing, like LOST or the same music and so on. I love that we both got the experience of learning from Dr. Booth...I don't know if any of my other friends would love him the way you do. My memories with you can really all be narrowed down to St. George, study sessions and sitting on my bed sharing journal entries, and that one time I was crazy when we walked to the temple together and we sang Aaron Carter on the way home. I love you kaweeennn! 2 weeks!!! COSTA VIDA!!!!




To Hay: Oh Hawee baby butt where do I even begin?? Becoming friends with you has been one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. You understand me, and are there for me in hard times. You're like the wisest 19 year old I know. I am really really really really really, like really sad that we will not be living in Sparks together in the fall. I will be sure to give you a skype tour and don't worry because we will live there sometime soon. My favorite memories with you-trying to fly, eating popcorn like every day, that scary chicken we ate with our rice, your butt and watching Chuck are some of my favorites. Love you so much Hay.

do da do...

So I am sitting here counting down the minutes until I can leave work. Today has been the slowest day ever! The only work-related things I did today were the following: I sent 2 envelopes FedEx, I answered the phone maybe 25 times, scheduled an appointment, did my mail duties...and that is it. I'm so incredibly bored right now I can't even explain it. Which inspired me to write about my day since I have nothing better to do.

I got to talk to my bestie Hay today :) It was glorious. While I was telling her all my latest life happenings she decided to mention something of the past....that is still lingering in my present. It came as quite the shock actually and I have yet to get the full story out of her, but I will....don't think you're off the hook yet Haley :P That conversation though was definitely mind-blowing. It kinda goes with something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. Which is honesty.

I am not talking about like when your mom tells you when you're 5 not to take the magazines from the store or to tell her the truth when you have just beat your sibling. I am talking about being honest with yourself, your feelings...or recognizing them I suppose. What I mean is if you feel a certain way about a situation and you keep it to yourself I kinda feel like that is dishonest. Or if you should probably tell someone something because you're hurting them by keeping it a secret, that's being dishonest.

I don't know, maybe it's a stretch. But when I think about it I think of what the opposite of being honest is...well dishonest obviously but even more it is the difference between a lie and the truth. Lies hurt, they're secretive and they can be destructive. So to me being dishonest is the same as lying. But it's different because it's a trait. It's not just a one time thing. I am also not saying that it is a lasting trait, because from time to time I am dishonest.

All I want to know is why is it so easy to tell a small lie, but so hard to be honest? Just freaking be honest! What's the worst thing that could happen? I mean is it worse than the dishonesty, than the pain that you're causing another, than the burden of your secret....trust me it can't be worse than the wondering and what ifs.

That's my blurb about being honest. True to yourself and what you feel...that's honesty.

As far as the rest of my day, I ate lunch at the deli and got a yummy chicken chipotle salad. I talked to my mom on the phone as usual and I called David too. I am having random pains on my upper ear...like someone is crushing it. And now Morgan gave me something to do...with 5 minutes left. Awesome.

Misery

Every day I have about an hour and 20 minutes to drive in my car and be alone with my thoughts and my music. I love just thinking and singing...it's so calming, it's definitely one of my releases. So today as I was driving home and a certain someone crossed my mind and then I heard this song called "Misery" by Maroon 5. I liked some of the lyrics, well for the same reason that I always like lyrics, because they sing the words of my soul. And then it was after this song that I sorta came to realize that I have mostly healed and I don't feel that misery anymore. It also came to me while I was talking to my good friend KC. We were both just laughing over the whole situation as if it never happened. It felt...good. I feel good. So goodbye past and hello FUTURE!

lyrics-
"So scared of breaking it
But you won't let it bend
And I wrote two hundred letters
I won't ever send
Somehow it is cut so much
Deeper then they seem
You'd rather cover up
I'd rather let them be
So let me be

I am in misery
There ain't no other
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
Your silence is slowly killing me
Boy you really got me bad
You really got me bad

It's not what I didn't feel,
It's what I didn't show

Say your faith is shaken
You may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and
Waiting for the sun
I'm desperate and confused
So far away from you
I'm getting here
Don't care where I have to go

Why do you do what you do to me, yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah
Why do you do what you do to me yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah"

So long misery...it was nice knowin' ya :P

you smell

So I have this fabulous job at a fabulous law firm with fabulous coworkers, hours and pay. I am not complaining but I do have a few complaints. (*Note-I am not complaining about my job but I do have a few complaints that involve me having this job)For whatever reason old people always come into the office. I love old people. They have so much wisdom and life experience which makes for good stories and I love how cute couples are when they've been by each other's side for 50 years or so. There is one thing that I do NOT like about old people though. Old people have a smell. It's mostly the women, and their perfume. Lots of old ladies come into the office and stink it up pretty bad. The worst part is how the smell lingers after they've already left. I mean I didn't like the way you smelled while you were here, so why on earth would I want to smell you once you're gone? You must know, that that is too much perfume! Personally I think it is a little inconsiderate. The wierd thing is that they all smell the same too. It's not even like it's a similar floral smell, it's the freaking exact same smell! I mean how is that even possible? There is no way that every old lady has the same perfume, unless they ALL go to Macy's and buy the same "if you would like to smell like a nasty grandma" perfume. It's a mystery. I would like the think that there is a black market for this horrid scent and old ladies are just conspiring to piss off the noses of the nation...I guess I will have to wait till I am old. So for now, you smell.

Fireworks, Grandparents and holidays OH MY!

So this past weekend was the 4rth of July. It is indeed one of my favorite holidays. I love the patriotism and remembering the amazing legacy of our country, and of course I love dressing like a flag and watching fireworks! So for this year we went to LA to visit my grandparents. A lot of my cousins were there with their ultra cute kids so that makes it that much better! We didn't do anything really out of the ordinary, just the usual eating of fast food and playing with the pool table. We played SCUM, which was pretty fun. On the way home we saw an occasional fire work from the local high schools which was exciting. I still wish that I could have seen a real show though.
Well yesterday was my day off and I was very grateful for it. I slept in till 10 even though I could have gotten up much sooner, but it was still way nice. After I got up, I had some french toast eggo things with chocolate milk=delicious. Then I went for a walk/jog with Caitlin and we did some push-ups and sit-ups while we watched last week's So You Think You Can Dance. I love Kent and Alex for the boys and Lauren and Ashley for the girls. This season is really good. I am calling Alex to win it. After that I tanned outside for a little bit while writing in my sisterhood journal :) Our family then headed over to the Naylor's for a BBQ. It was lots of fun to hang out with a few families from the ward. Then at night I had a few of my friends over and we went swimmming and watched the Bachlorette. Followed by an interesting round of Haley's made up game, "What's your deal". It was a good time.

in case you're handicapped

So two of my most wonderful friends have blogs. I love to read about the little things that are happening in their lives and of course when I read something they post I want to tell them what I think about it, so we have the wonderful comment feature. The thing that annoys me though is that I have to let the internet know that I am a real person. They give you all sorts of weird letter combinations that are all hard to read and what not. I always think it is a word or something and sometimes it is, but a large majority of the time it is not. For example the other day I had "sails" but today I had "vhzmte". My brain has a hard time figuring out that it is not a word. Even when I know it's not a word I still want to say how it would sound. So like "vhzmte" would be pronounced VEE-HEZ-MM-TAY. I also have a problem with thinking it is spanish sometimes, hence the TAY and not TEE. I am special I know. Which is also funny because there is a little handicapped blue person sign next to where you have to type in the letters...as if I don't already feel retarded enough because I am trying to read fake words that are distorted in spanish...