A million and a half things

So basically I am done with finals and I am sooo happy, and so exhausted. This finals week has actually been probably the best. I wasn't super super stressed although I barely got any sleep. Which is why I just wanted to say that I kept thinking about when my daddy used to say go to sleep and it'll be better in the morning....yeah I am starting to think that's the best advice he ever gave. I actually slept for like 9 hours last night and I felt SO amazing when I woke up. I am kinda sad that all my classes are over now. This was an enjoyable semester and I made some good friends. Glad to get rid of the creepers and the boring classes but I feel like I learned a lot. This semester was a huge testimony building experience for me. My patriarchal blessing talks about my education and one thing that it mentions is that I will find joy in my intelligence and as I learn the things of this world I will come to know the things of the next. That has been very true for me coming to college and studying geology but this semester I really felt that way. My classes really opened my mind to just how superior our Heavenly Father really is. It's amazing. I know his hand is in everything and I can't believe how beautiful all his creations are. Here are some things that I have loved this year in my learning:

My favorite class this semester was definitely Geology of the Planets. It was seriously so interesting and I was captivated every single class. I actually asked people to stop texting me for that one...I told them I had to listen but really I wanted to sooo bad. The solar system is incredible and it's beauty truly testifies of a supreme being.

A little closer to home, I took an atmosphere and weather class....not my favorite but we got to look awesome really pretty pictures like sun dogs:

and lenticular clouds: (I actually saw them in the flesh once on my way to Logan and I got sooo excited because I knew what they were)

All my classes focused on the earth and just learning about how exactly perfect it is for life and water and everything makes me realize that there is a plan. I LOVE THE EARTH!
Happy Earth Day yesterday :)

Another class that was not my favorite surprisingly, was Historical Geology. But geology has given me a much stronger testimony so we're going to give it a shout out anyway and take a look at what captivating things the earth has for us to study regardless of how much I hated that class

The Grand Canyon:

Another class that was way awesome, for the most part, was Astronomy. This class really opened my mind to just how endless God is as well as how powerful and all-knowing he is. It's so astounding to sit back and to really try to grasp how immense everything truly is. The last day of class my teacher put up the stars in the planetarium and just read scriptures to us. She talked about how amazing it is that God cares about us with all this creation that surrounds us and that He loves as as much as he does. I honestly can't imagine why. It's incredible.

Spiral galaxy:

Supernova:

So besides some really pretty pictures there is a point to all this. I think the best way to sum it up is this:
Alma 30:44 "all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."

"There will be challenges in life...

....they will either bring you closer to God. Or they will destroy you. It is your choice which path to take....Be not so concerned with what you do. But do what you do with all your heart, might, mind and strength....And finally, when you are compelled to give up something, or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to learn right now. But know also, that as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better."

What I do Instead of Finals

“My Bench”

Stuck on a bench with wet paint to my knees.
You once sat here with me
and now I sit here alone,
searching the nearby trees, for answers?
well maybe…or maybe for just simple memories.

Leaves freckle the ground like the freckles I can still see on your soft lids
Eyes closed in a kiss
Our story closed, and it’s one I miss.

Sitting on this bench and staring at the sky
Clouds in the atmosphere of my mind
Wondering
Waiting
Wishing

Here at this bench we used to sit
Birds at our feet, we fed them our hopes and pictured our dream.
There was a day when you pointed at the sky and told me it was you and me in the light of the moonbeam.

You and me I keep telling myself it was you and me.
Was and not is.
and cannot be.

Reasons why aren’t found in tears I cry.
They weren’t in your hopeful or sorry beautiful eyes.
So brown and so true it’s impossible to forget you.

Your touch, your scent, they’re escaping me
Your voice replays over and over in my head
but it’s distantly fading

So I return to our bench in this place where I live
It’s not our bench
I am here and you’re not
Who will take my love I give?

It’s not our bench, no not anymore
Soon enough you won’t be next door

It’s my bench now and not ours anymore
It’s newly painted but you’ll never see,
because you no longer are this bench to me
I sat down and traced where you’d sit in my mind
Close my eyes you’d take my hand maybe one more time

The bench is wet, no not from tears
from new beginnings which makes me fear.
I am alone at this new bench paint to my knees
The paint is covering what remained of you and me.

This bench used to be so comfy and safe
but now I sit and ponder about space

Space in between me and you
Space in my mind that is filled with dreams never meant to come true

I run my fingers through the fresh new paint
It’s cold and a mess and reminds me of my pain

I look down at the marks that I’ve made in the bench they’re new and not old
and nothing makes sense
I see the old wood worn out in time the brown strains
they meet their end with a new coat of paint

So in this bench is you and me
the you and me the cannot be
the end of our brown strains and the time we spent
the end of everything that meant

it meant to me and it meant to you
and now I know I must find somewhere new
a place to sit with someone by my side
someone in whom I will confide

someone like you I can only dream
so I take my dream and my new stained pants
I am off to find a new romance

I turn and stare at this bench of us
our love and time now falling as dust
dust on the ground to be blown away
for at this bench we cannot stay

tears fill my eyes as I walk away
because more than anything I want to stay

I close my eyes for one last time
I run through memories and see you there
I see you running your hands through your hair
I see your smile
your laughter
your gaze
and now I am trapped in a maze

I open my eyes and see the bench
it’s not ours nor mine
because you are that Bench.

all things shall cease

during this finals week.....sorry guys but I am going to have to take a pause in the 30 day challenge, and blogging. There is too much to do and frankly I probably should do it. Who knows if I actually will. I have 2 finals tomorrow and I don't feel really that prepared at all. At least for one of them. Oh and did I mention one starts at 7 AM! UGHH. The other one is at 2:30 and then I come home and I have to study study study for my other tests that I haven't even thought about yet. Finals are a joy.

Day 24-A picture of something you wish you could change

I wish I could change the fact that none of us are currently together and that we still have another 6 months before we're reunited....

Day 23-A picture of your favorite book

It's a good thing I don't read very much because it made this post very easy. This here is my most favorite book:

I am pretty sure that all my followers are Mormon so they understand why. There is no other book on the planet that teaches about Christ so perfectly. It testifies of his love, his sacrifice and his hope for us. I absolutely love this book.

Day 22-A picture of something you wish you were better at

My whole life I have dreamed that I could be the best artist and musician to ever grace the earth. Well the truth is I don't even come close. I love to play the piano and I miss taking lessons and learning how to expand my mind and my heart in a way that allows me to more fully grasp my emotions in song.
More than anything though I wish I had to ability to compose. Ten years of lessons and classical training and theory lessons have not made it happen. I wish so bad I could write like Beethoven. I have so many songs and melodies in my heart.....if only my hands knew how....

Day 21-A picture of something you wish you could forget

I wish I could forget how much better this place isThan this place....

Day 20-A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

I think to be able to go to Tahiti and stay in one of these little houses and wake up in the ocean. Yeah that'd be incredible.

Day 19- A picture and a letter

OK so this post is especially hard. I need more specifics people! A picture of what and a letter to whom?? Everyone knows that I am the worst at making decisions. Hmf. I have decided based off events from earlier this morning that there is a person I would like to write a letter to. So here goes nothing.
To Jay-tubby.

Dear Jay-Tub,
It twouldn't be fawer of me to post dis howl ledder in wee-tawd seeing as udder people are doe ing to weed it. So spare yower diddles for when I tum home to see you and speet wee-tawd much more frekwentwee.

translation-
Dear Jacob,
It wouldn't be fair of me to post this whole letter in retard seeing as other people are going to read it. So spare your giggles for when I come home to see you and speak retard much more frequently.

So Jacob I just wanted to write you a little notey-note to tell you that I love you and miss you. I miss that you're the only person who thinks I am most funny when I am being incredibly annoying. I miss the hugs you give me. So much. You give the best hugs. I miss the way you love me and admire me. You are such a good example to me and I miss not being able to constantly learn from you.

I miss touching your soft soft neck. It's so cute! I just want to touch it all the time.

I miss the way you follow me around.

I miss your giggle and your stupid little man-child voice. Also very cute.

I miss the way you make fun of everyone with me.

I miss when you laugh so hard you can't breathe.

I miss watching you wander around humming and hitting your chest because you still believe the world is a good and safe place.

I miss everything about you!

I cannot wait to come back and see you and play with you! You're my favorite little brother and little buddy ever. I love you!

-Ma-WISSA!

P.S. I think we should definitely make some mittey mouse pantates with some avatado on the side ;)

"Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence"

So Karen suggested that I listen to Elder Holland's talk titled "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence". Everyone should read it. It is an incredible talk and I was so deeply moved. It has been a rough weekend and I really needed to hear his words. I love the fact that our gospel has the ability to help you know the course you are taking is true and right, without giving you all the answers. I love that we get to live a gospel of peace and comfort. And I love most of all that Heavenly Father loves us enough to let us figure things out on our own, but makes sure that we're ok along the way by giving us endless hope. What an amazing gospel and blessing I have been given. I cannot express the gratitude I feel. Here are some of my favorite things from the talk. I just listened to it so some of them aren't word for word, which is why you need to read it!

Don’t retreat, don’t distrust the experience you had…it is what will save you.

Beware the temptation to retreat….don’t forget the good feelings that you have had. If it was good for then, it is good for now.

Face your doubts. Master your fears….Stay your course, and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

“You will miss the opportunity of a lifetime, because you didn’t seize it in the lifetime of the opportunity….you did not continue as you commenced.”

Let not your hearts faint, my angels shall go before you, and also my presence. And in time ye shall possess the goodly land. What goodly land? YOUR goodly land….your future, your dreams, your destiny.

“God has set bounds and limits to the opposing power of darkness”

Day 18-A picture of your biggest insecurity

Probably my biggest insecurity is my low earring holes. I already feel like my ears are ginormous so the low earring accentuating the whole thing is just no bueno. I've thought about getting them re-pierced but I kinda stopped caring...though I am still secretly insecure about it.

Day 17- A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

This boy right here has made all the difference in my life as of late. Meet Cameron Bench:

Not only is he stunning but he is an incredible person and an even better boyfriend. He has made me more happy than I've been in a long long time and I am so glad to be able to call him mine.

Day 16-A picture of someone who inspires you

My Grandma and Grandpa Binns inspire me. I love living close to them now so I can go visit them all the time. I have learned so much from them just this past year. I hope to be just like them one day. They are such strong spirits, and I love their dedication to one another. They are the best.

Day 15- A picture of something you want to do before you die

Visit Greece

Day 14- A picture of someone you could never picture your life without

Here is my brynnie boo. This was a hard post to chose just one person but I think she makes for a good choice. Brynn has been probably the greatest friend I've ever had. I've known her as long as I can remember which makes it very hard for me to imagine life without her. I had a taste of it last year when I had to leave her for college and I was so sad. I am sooo happy that we got to live together this year and that she is in Provo now.

Brynn is a very special person and an amazing friend. We have never ever got in a fight in our 10 years of friendship. We make a good team. She's my buddy and I love her to death. So lucky to have her as one of my best friends.

Day 13-A picture of your favorite band or artist

So I posted so much about OneRepublic I figured I really needed to chose one of my other favorites to post about. I know it's cheesy and you can think I am lame....but I love NSYNC with a good portion of my heart. They are my childhood. I still enjoy listening to them now. They're music gets me pumped no matter what mood I am in. They are one of a kind and close to my heart.

Justin's neck looks kinda weird. Chris is scary as ever. Joey is a creeper. Lance is dying to come out and JC is still my fav....even with the awkward little line of beard.

Day 12- A picture of something you love

I have been craving me a good Disneyland trip for a while now. Mostly because of this place:

This here is THE Blue Bayou restaurant. It is freaking incredible and I would go to Disneyland just to eat here. They have the yummiest food from their Gumbo appetizer to their raspberry lemonade and amazing creme brulee! The best part for sure though has got to be these:

Freaking delicious Monte Cristos. Just the perfect amount of sweet and salty. I am salivating just thinking about it. I will return to you one day my loves.

Day 11-A picture of something you hate

Eggs. Especially hard boiled. All slimy and then you got the yoke. Bleh. Sick.