plans

I have been thinking a lot lately about planning. You know making plans, plans falling through, attempting to make plans and so on. I realize that in my mortal and imperfect state I am terrible at making plans. I can only think about the right now. Me and Hay decided that we are going to start setting goals to improve ourselves but even here I set a goal accomplish it and then don't really think much more about it after that. I don't even really know if I appreciate what I have learned. Even long term goals aren't that forward looking into the future. For example me having a 2 year gym membership. I use it. I try hard and I do it because I know in the back of my mind I want to improve myself....but it's not like every time I am working out I think about my health or how I will have improved by the end of the year.

I guess the reason for this is that I can't really imagine what my future will be like, and thinking about it kinda scares me. There is a problem with planning though. No matter how much you want something to work out, or how long you plan on it...it doesn't always work out. It is at times like these when I feel like things aren't working out that I remember that it's just not working out the way I want it to, but it IS working out the way it is SUPPOSED to. I am a lucky girl to have my own personal planner. Someone who can see the end from the beginning and teach me through patience how to get to that end.