do da do...

So I am sitting here counting down the minutes until I can leave work. Today has been the slowest day ever! The only work-related things I did today were the following: I sent 2 envelopes FedEx, I answered the phone maybe 25 times, scheduled an appointment, did my mail duties...and that is it. I'm so incredibly bored right now I can't even explain it. Which inspired me to write about my day since I have nothing better to do.

I got to talk to my bestie Hay today :) It was glorious. While I was telling her all my latest life happenings she decided to mention something of the past....that is still lingering in my present. It came as quite the shock actually and I have yet to get the full story out of her, but I will....don't think you're off the hook yet Haley :P That conversation though was definitely mind-blowing. It kinda goes with something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. Which is honesty.

I am not talking about like when your mom tells you when you're 5 not to take the magazines from the store or to tell her the truth when you have just beat your sibling. I am talking about being honest with yourself, your feelings...or recognizing them I suppose. What I mean is if you feel a certain way about a situation and you keep it to yourself I kinda feel like that is dishonest. Or if you should probably tell someone something because you're hurting them by keeping it a secret, that's being dishonest.

I don't know, maybe it's a stretch. But when I think about it I think of what the opposite of being honest is...well dishonest obviously but even more it is the difference between a lie and the truth. Lies hurt, they're secretive and they can be destructive. So to me being dishonest is the same as lying. But it's different because it's a trait. It's not just a one time thing. I am also not saying that it is a lasting trait, because from time to time I am dishonest.

All I want to know is why is it so easy to tell a small lie, but so hard to be honest? Just freaking be honest! What's the worst thing that could happen? I mean is it worse than the dishonesty, than the pain that you're causing another, than the burden of your secret....trust me it can't be worse than the wondering and what ifs.

That's my blurb about being honest. True to yourself and what you feel...that's honesty.

As far as the rest of my day, I ate lunch at the deli and got a yummy chicken chipotle salad. I talked to my mom on the phone as usual and I called David too. I am having random pains on my upper ear...like someone is crushing it. And now Morgan gave me something to do...with 5 minutes left. Awesome.

Misery

Every day I have about an hour and 20 minutes to drive in my car and be alone with my thoughts and my music. I love just thinking and singing...it's so calming, it's definitely one of my releases. So today as I was driving home and a certain someone crossed my mind and then I heard this song called "Misery" by Maroon 5. I liked some of the lyrics, well for the same reason that I always like lyrics, because they sing the words of my soul. And then it was after this song that I sorta came to realize that I have mostly healed and I don't feel that misery anymore. It also came to me while I was talking to my good friend KC. We were both just laughing over the whole situation as if it never happened. It felt...good. I feel good. So goodbye past and hello FUTURE!

lyrics-
"So scared of breaking it
But you won't let it bend
And I wrote two hundred letters
I won't ever send
Somehow it is cut so much
Deeper then they seem
You'd rather cover up
I'd rather let them be
So let me be

I am in misery
There ain't no other
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
Your silence is slowly killing me
Boy you really got me bad
You really got me bad

It's not what I didn't feel,
It's what I didn't show

Say your faith is shaken
You may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and
Waiting for the sun
I'm desperate and confused
So far away from you
I'm getting here
Don't care where I have to go

Why do you do what you do to me, yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah
Why do you do what you do to me yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah"

So long misery...it was nice knowin' ya :P

you smell

So I have this fabulous job at a fabulous law firm with fabulous coworkers, hours and pay. I am not complaining but I do have a few complaints. (*Note-I am not complaining about my job but I do have a few complaints that involve me having this job)For whatever reason old people always come into the office. I love old people. They have so much wisdom and life experience which makes for good stories and I love how cute couples are when they've been by each other's side for 50 years or so. There is one thing that I do NOT like about old people though. Old people have a smell. It's mostly the women, and their perfume. Lots of old ladies come into the office and stink it up pretty bad. The worst part is how the smell lingers after they've already left. I mean I didn't like the way you smelled while you were here, so why on earth would I want to smell you once you're gone? You must know, that that is too much perfume! Personally I think it is a little inconsiderate. The wierd thing is that they all smell the same too. It's not even like it's a similar floral smell, it's the freaking exact same smell! I mean how is that even possible? There is no way that every old lady has the same perfume, unless they ALL go to Macy's and buy the same "if you would like to smell like a nasty grandma" perfume. It's a mystery. I would like the think that there is a black market for this horrid scent and old ladies are just conspiring to piss off the noses of the nation...I guess I will have to wait till I am old. So for now, you smell.

Fireworks, Grandparents and holidays OH MY!

So this past weekend was the 4rth of July. It is indeed one of my favorite holidays. I love the patriotism and remembering the amazing legacy of our country, and of course I love dressing like a flag and watching fireworks! So for this year we went to LA to visit my grandparents. A lot of my cousins were there with their ultra cute kids so that makes it that much better! We didn't do anything really out of the ordinary, just the usual eating of fast food and playing with the pool table. We played SCUM, which was pretty fun. On the way home we saw an occasional fire work from the local high schools which was exciting. I still wish that I could have seen a real show though.
Well yesterday was my day off and I was very grateful for it. I slept in till 10 even though I could have gotten up much sooner, but it was still way nice. After I got up, I had some french toast eggo things with chocolate milk=delicious. Then I went for a walk/jog with Caitlin and we did some push-ups and sit-ups while we watched last week's So You Think You Can Dance. I love Kent and Alex for the boys and Lauren and Ashley for the girls. This season is really good. I am calling Alex to win it. After that I tanned outside for a little bit while writing in my sisterhood journal :) Our family then headed over to the Naylor's for a BBQ. It was lots of fun to hang out with a few families from the ward. Then at night I had a few of my friends over and we went swimmming and watched the Bachlorette. Followed by an interesting round of Haley's made up game, "What's your deal". It was a good time.

in case you're handicapped

So two of my most wonderful friends have blogs. I love to read about the little things that are happening in their lives and of course when I read something they post I want to tell them what I think about it, so we have the wonderful comment feature. The thing that annoys me though is that I have to let the internet know that I am a real person. They give you all sorts of weird letter combinations that are all hard to read and what not. I always think it is a word or something and sometimes it is, but a large majority of the time it is not. For example the other day I had "sails" but today I had "vhzmte". My brain has a hard time figuring out that it is not a word. Even when I know it's not a word I still want to say how it would sound. So like "vhzmte" would be pronounced VEE-HEZ-MM-TAY. I also have a problem with thinking it is spanish sometimes, hence the TAY and not TEE. I am special I know. Which is also funny because there is a little handicapped blue person sign next to where you have to type in the letters...as if I don't already feel retarded enough because I am trying to read fake words that are distorted in spanish...

SWITCHFOOT!!!!!!

On Thursday June 24, 2010 I went to the Switchfoot concert. They were absolutely amazing. I went with Lydia Larson and Jessica Blanch. We had a great time screaming all the songs and making fun of the weird people around us. I was glad that they sang a lot of songs from older CDs, like "On Fire" which is probably my favorite Switchfoot song. The last song they sang was "Dare You to Move" and that was wayyyy awesome. We all forgot to bring cameras but Lyds took a few pictures from her phone. Above is a picture of the stage, a little blurry but still wonderful!

Here is me and Lyds a little to excited to be seeing one of our favorite bands. I don't remember if this was before or after the lead singer completely broke this huge drum on the song "This is the Sound". That was pretty funny, because it was completely on accident.

Here is our whole group after the concert. It was so fun and I will never forget it! YEAH SWITCHFOOT!

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Not so "Laugh"y Taffy

So my work has this huge basket filled with all sorts of candy, including banana laffy taffy. I have a serious weakness for them because they are definitely top 5 in my favorite candy list. So I eat one every now and then and of course you ahve to read the jokes. I don't know if it is because I am older or what but the jokes suck nowadays. I mean real people, supposedly, submit the jokes....I feel bad for them if they think they're funny. Here are some example jokes that I have come across lately:

What kind of plant to you put in a cake?- Flower
Why don't ducks tell jokes while they are flying?-Because they would quack up
Why did the strawberry cross the road?- Because his mother was in a jam
How do you keep a lion from charging?- Take away its credit cards

.......what? None of them are even remotely funny. Usually after I read them I feel more confused than anything. So those are my thoughts on lame laffy taffy....and that's all.